Strokes of a BrownPen

Arnel, pasaway ka talaga. Hanggang sa huli, you lived up to being a pasaway. Pero nakilala ka naming ganyan, at minahal ka namin ng ganun ka.

I've known Arnel for close to 12 years. Am sure mas marami pang iba ang nakasama niya ng mas matagal--baka nga since gradeschool pa nung nagtuturo pa si mommy. Or high school during the time na nagbibilangan sila ng barkada niya ng mga babaeng mapapasagot nila. Or baka simula pa nung college sa PLM kung saan sabi niya sa akin was one of his good memories especially with Larah & the gang.

Gayunpaman, no matter how long or short the time we may have shared with him, am sure Arnel has touched our lives in more ways than one, that's why we were endeared to him and became his friend, confidant, ka-harutan, ka-landian, ka-talakan, ka-yosi, ka-gym, ka-badminton, ka-tambay sa coffee, ka-lamon, Kapamilya, Kapatid or Kapuso (sige na, isisingit ko na lang din sila, para kumpleto ang cast).

Iba-iba ang pagkakakilala natin kay Arnel. Iba-iba ang pakikitungo natin sa kanya, pero malamang iisang Arnel lang ang pinakita niya sa atin--simple, masayahin, bugnutin minsan, pasaway, matigas ulo, malambing, sweet, iyakin, maalalahanin.

Sa sobrang simple, Cafe Bola lang eh OK na, or palabok sa Jollibee, or tuna with meatloaf ni Aling Baby, or kape ni Doy.

Or tambay sa Baang coffee or Burger King para may free Wi-Fi. Or sa computer shop palaro-laro ng Warcraft, Battle Realms, DOTA or magdownload ng MP3s.

Or tambay sa bahay maglaba ng damit habang nagpu-push-up, sabay tingin sa salamin kung malaki na ang dibdib at mga braso niya. Or manood ng Grey's Anatomy, 24, Alias.

Or kuntento na sa Trinoma or MOA, sine with Jinky, Mama Bhelle, Julie, Cecille,  Minnie and the Special Projects gang. Sa sobrang simple minsan hindi natin maintindihan kung bakit pati comedy iniiyakan niya ng bonggang-bongga. Many times, ayaw pang lumabas ng sinehan dahil maga ang mata. Suskupo!

Or maybe nakilala natin si Arnel na pabadminton-badminton lang kahit saang sulok man yan. Ayaw paawat minsan kahit may bagyo, kahit nilalagnat, kahit walang dalang sapatos basta lang makapalo. Gusto siyang kapartner ng marami, mapababae o mapalalake. Basta lang ba hindi ka manginig kung sasabihan ka niya ng "Umayos ka."

Pero am sure most of us have known, loved, admired, was inspired by, or nabighani ni Arnel nung pumasok na siya sa mundo ng showbiz at naging... Asia. I honestly believe he was at his best at what he does if it was for showbiz and entertainment. Doon lumalabas ang passion and dedication niya. Kahit may pull-out ng ala-una ng umaga. Game. Kahit may occular sa bundok. Game. Kahit may i-shoot na artistang hitad. Game. Kahit walang tulog. Game. Kahit maulanan. Game. Kahit kapos sa oras before airing. Game. Kahit kapiranggot ang sahod at tipid sa budget. Game. [Yung huling punto po sana pag-isipan ng mga boss natin sa networks alang-alang sa mga dedicated talents na katulad ni Asia. We often forget that behind a great show is a dedicated cast of great people.]

Sa mundo ninyo ng entertainment, kailangan mong maging matatag, mapagpasensya, maintindihin, malakas ang loob, at considerate sa feelings ng ibang tao. Kung wala ka ng mga ito, hindi ka magtatagal. Ganyan si Asia. Ganyan si Asia na nakapiling ko during my great years with him. It was the challenges, trials, difficulties, successes and achievements he had in entertainment for 15 years that made him become stronger as a person lalo na sa ABS-CBN and lately sa TV5. Malay natin baka sa GMA7 kung nagtagal pa siya.

Nung lumabas siya for about 3 years para magbarko, ang saya niya. Bagong adventure. Kakaibang environment. Ang daming bagong mga kaibigan. Ang daming napuntahang mga lugar. Ang daming posing sa pictures, pero somehow sabi niya namimiss niya ang fulfillment that he gets doing projects in TV: ang may show, ang may raket. Kaya he decided to stay put and try it out for a second time. Sabi niya "OK lang yun Ta dahil masaya naman ako. Ang importante, nandito ako sa Pilipinas, nandito kasama nina mommy at nandito ang mga friends ko. Then he added, di ba 'yun din naman ang gusto mo? Ipon lang muna ako sa barko then babalik na ako. Kuntento na ako sa ganun."

Isn't that so admirable? It seemed like he had his life planned out. It seemed like he knew where it was headed to.

"Kuntento" is a word na bagay lang sa isang simpleng tao. By nature, hindi nakukuntento ang tao. We are all hard-wired to have more, to achieve more, to want more. Pero kay Asia, he has his priorities straight: masaya siya sa ginagawa niya, kasama ang pamilya at kaibigan, may matutulugan, may kotse anytime para maglakwatsa, mag-gym, manood ng sine, mag-shop sa Lacoste or ng tight-fitting shirts, makapag-internet, makapag-badminton. OK na sa kanya yun. Kuntento na siya nun. Masaya na siya nun.

Dahil sa napakasimpleng tao, madali siyang pakisamahan, hindi mo kailangang makibagay, hindi mo kailangang mag-pretend, hindi ka na mag-aadjust because he is what he is. That's why from the crew, to the PAs, FCs, FDs, EPs, SPs, PMs (ang daming acronyms!), direks, bosses na mga hitad (joke lang 'yun), mga senyora at senyorito, even sa mga ibang artista, he is really loved. Based on the outpouring of love, prayers, thank yous, gratitude and sweet notes we read in his Facebook wall, we know that Asia loved us all unconditionally that's why he was loved fully in return.

Pero ang tanong natin sa sarili is kung bakit ambilis ng mga pangyayari. Na parang ang sudden ng pamamaalam niya. Parang isang gap lang sa programa e "The End" na. Sa sobrang ikli, parang isang sequence lang sa segment. Bitin. Hanging. Parang sablay sa dulo.

Bakit Asia?

Sa tingin ko napagod na si Asia at gusto na niyang magpahinga. He knew that he already gave it his all. The very industry he truly loved, the very industry that consumed him was also the one that took him away from all of us.

His last few words were "Happy na ako." Imagine that, at a very young age of 38, happy na siya. Napakasimpleng tao di ba? To him, na-achieve na niya lahat at kuntento na siya. Sino ba naman ang hindi magfa-fall-in-love sa taong ganyan? He welcomes with open arms everything that life throws at him as if sinasabi niya "sige lang ng sige, kaya ko yan" na kahit minsan eh hindi na niya kaya especially in the last few weeks.

Pasaway talaga di ba?

I guess isipin na lang natin na kung napagod man siya, at least he wanted to end his own segment, body, or script in his own terms. He directed the kind of life he wanted to live--and he was happy of how it turned out to be. And we should respect him for that. Siya lang ang nakakaalam ng buong kwento. Script niya yun eh. Masakit man for all of us, or mahirap tanggapin, it was a Happy Ending for him. Sooner it will dawn on us at sasabihin natin sa sarili natin na, "Ang galing ni direk Asia. Pang-award. Ang taray ng lola mo!"

We all would've wanted Asia to be around for many, many years more. Kulang na kulang pa ang time natin with him. Am sure many people have their own great memories of him, so please cherish them more now.

It's good to be back--unloading random thoughts into this space. For a while, I lost interest. In everything. To be more accurate, I probably was a bit selfish, wanting all my thoughts, fears, and happiness for myself.

Or simply, I was just too tired, and I don't want to give in to that part of me who was raring to share about 30 thoughts since my last post.

Anyway, the powers that be are, well, all too powerful. So here's a post dedicated to a demigod--who's controlling the best of me. Am defenseless.

Last Saturday night was another baptism of fire for me: watching my first full-length football match EVER. It was nothing short of spectacular--right in the soul of Kuala Lumpur, at Dataran Merdeka (Independence Square), amongst the throng of people that  could easily hit a hundred thousand. People from all walks of life, in their jerseys to show where they belong, with their instruments to amplify their approval and disgust; everyone ready to pour their emotions which have been kept for four long years.

I have a new-found respect for the game, and for the people passionate about it. Not bad at all. If before I say "It puzzles me how a sport only sees action after the fortieth of ninetieth minute. What a bore.", it just shows how hugely ignorant I was, uneducated about its real beauty. I still am, but it shouldn't be long before I learn to appreciate it--I mean, billions of people couldn't be wrong.

Thank you, KL, for teaching me something new again. Life's a ball, indeed. More appropriately, it's "Bola! Bola! Bola!"

Mahirap magkasakit.

Mas mahirap magkasakit

kung ika'y mag-isa.

Pinakamahirap ang magkasakait

kung ika'y mag-isa at nasa ibang bansa.

Ito ang dinanas ko 

noong nakaraang linggo.

Walang kalaban-laban.

Kinayang bumangon para magpaduktor.

Kinailangang gumising ng kusa para uminom ng gamot.

Pinilit maglakad para bumili ng makakain.

Sa bawat galaw, inisip si inay.

Iba mag-alaga si inay.

Nasaan si inay?

Tiyak mas mabilis ang paggaling

kung nasa tabi si inay.

O baka hindi magkakasakit 

kung nasa pangangalaga ni inay.

Miss ko si inay.

Ayoko na magkasakit.

Ayoko ng sakit.

Masakit.

Bawal magkasakit.

Dahil wala si inay.

Dahil malayo ako kay inay.

Dahil ayoko mag-alala si inay.

Dahil ayokong nag-aalala si inay.

Dahil mahal ko si inay.

Yesterday, I held a freakingly delicious show (or so I think) at the office--"How to eat Balut" slash "Balut 101". The maid of my boss, a friendly Filipina named Rachel, who hails from Roxas City, personally delivered 3 baluts to me--something that I've been raring to have the past few months (it's one of the three Pinoys foods I'm missing a lot aside from adobo and Recipe's Gising-Gising). She got them from my boss' friend who has been given "specific instruction" to scout for the delicacy in KL. (Thanks, boss!)

At lunch, I smilingly ate one in front of an audience of about 10--displaying the rituals from cracking a small hole at the tip to suck the amniotic fluid first, then slowly removing the shell to reveal the freakingly delicious embryo, put salt over it, and gulp it down as you would to a hard-boiled egg. This was the part that got the loudest shrieks. It was amazing how they all called me "sick", "psycho" and "crazy" (in jest, of course), giving them flashbacks of those travelogue episodes of various Asian delicacies.

If I could capture all their faces in one word, it would be dumbfounded.

Then I posed the challenge to them to try the freakingly delicious egg--no brave souls except for Justin (who's always been adventurous with food, but hasn't tried balut) and Amanda (who's had worms and scorpions in the past), and I must say I have succeeded in converting them based on this video proof...whereby this time, the crowd had ballooned to about 25 armed with cameras (to the score of more yucksss, eeeeews, grossss) to capture Carat Malaysia's own version of Fear Factor.